chaos

can anyone out there please slow the world down??

I have so little breath... time. patience...

so much confusion and pain and worry and fear and STOP.

life is as Rob Bell says and we must go along with it remembering seasons of rest.

chaos

I am being eaten alive by the swirling pit of life that tends to take everything you like and toss it away while shoving the things you never want to face - well, there... in your face. There is no more crazy move going at my office, but NEL has ramped up like crazy and I have a lot more work to do because of it. It ends in 3 weeks, and I am happy about that. What I am not happy about is having here and there little minor earthquakes in my life that send me reeling because I just wasn't that stable to begin with.

And now the internet is having issues at work. so on this lovely holiday that celebrates me and all those who do what I do, I am fighting tech support with at least one father (possibly two) hospitalized and a schedule so full that church has fallen to the wayside...

I am making a promise now that next week will be different... somehow.

its not like that

I dont really think it should be all about me all the time... I dont even want it to be ALL about me some of the time (except for my birthday week!)

I just want to exist as part of something. I want to make a difference in a conversation and see that make a change.

Small change leads to big change and I am fighting for revolution. I know its not practical, but its necessary.

argh

I had a dream last night that my Saturday night dream came true... There has got to be something seriously twisted going on in my brain.

I think my dreams are directed by PTA and written by Adam Duritz...

Thankfully I'm not yet to 21 pills a day. I think I can get by with just donuts...

keep on keeping on

I haven't posted in forever because I have little to say. I talk to people when we both aren't too busy and then I remember how much it sucks to not talk to them more, but it only last a day or two.

I used to be one to keep in touch. I guess I'm not anymore. It takes more energy than I have to spare after dividing out the weeks between the job, the cooking, cleaning, relationship building, networking, unwinding, zoo volunteering, big sistering, aunting, daughtering, grand daugthering... and none of it is particularly interesting.

I play a lot of trivia now... how did that happen?
and I miss the good times on Oak Street with a lot of nothing going on but theatre and food. I dont miss the drama that seems to still circulate round and round like a funnel cloud constantly over that little block.

I just learned I once drove while drinking...