its just my opinion, but you should think so too

chaos

2008-05-15T11:08:00.001-05:00

can anyone out there please slow the world down??

I have so little breath... time. patience...

so much confusion and pain and worry and fear and STOP.

life is as Rob Bell says and we must go along with it remembering seasons of rest.

chaos

2008-04-23T11:08:00.002-05:00

I am being eaten alive by the swirling pit of life that tends to take everything you like and toss it away while shoving the things you never want to face - well, there... in your face. There is no more crazy move going at my office, but NEL has ramped up like crazy and I have a lot more work to do because of it. It ends in 3 weeks, and I am happy about that. What I am not happy about is having here and there little minor earthquakes in my life that send me reeling because I just wasn't that stable to begin with.

And now the internet is having issues at work. so on this lovely holiday that celebrates me and all those who do what I do, I am fighting tech support with at least one father (possibly two) hospitalized and a schedule so full that church has fallen to the wayside...

I am making a promise now that next week will be different... somehow.

its not like that

2008-02-26T11:49:00.002-05:00

I dont really think it should be all about me all the time... I dont even want it to be ALL about me some of the time (except for my birthday week!)

I just want to exist as part of something. I want to make a difference in a conversation and see that make a change.

Small change leads to big change and I am fighting for revolution. I know its not practical, but its necessary.

argh

2008-02-25T09:55:00.002-05:00

I had a dream last night that my Saturday night dream came true... There has got to be something seriously twisted going on in my brain.

I think my dreams are directed by PTA and written by Adam Duritz...

Thankfully I'm not yet to 21 pills a day. I think I can get by with just donuts...

keep on keeping on

2008-02-21T15:02:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted in forever because I have little to say. I talk to people when we both aren't too busy and then I remember how much it sucks to not talk to them more, but it only last a day or two.

I used to be one to keep in touch. I guess I'm not anymore. It takes more energy than I have to spare after dividing out the weeks between the job, the cooking, cleaning, relationship building, networking, unwinding, zoo volunteering, big sistering, aunting, daughtering, grand daugthering... and none of it is particularly interesting.

I play a lot of trivia now... how did that happen?
and I miss the good times on Oak Street with a lot of nothing going on but theatre and food. I dont miss the drama that seems to still circulate round and round like a funnel cloud constantly over that little block.

I just learned I once drove while drinking...

2007-09-11T18:22:00.001-05:00

2007-07-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

Stole this from Tammy over on myspace, thought it was appropriate today especially...

Three things to ponder today.....
1. Cows?
2. The Constitution?
3. The Ten Commandments?

Cows?

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to
the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked
her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million
illegal aliens wandering around our country?

Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

The Constitution?

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don't we
just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it
has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

The Ten Commandments?

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse is this: You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt
Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of
lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Happy Independence Day, Scooter.

Over-usage

2007-06-07T08:02:00.000-05:00

Please take a thoughtful look at this artist's work and take even a small step to reduce the waste in this world. Thanks.

http://www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php?id=%3fview=XXX_09NNN

Across the Sea

2007-05-30T15:55:00.000-05:00

You are 18 year old girl
Who live in small city of Japan
And you heard me on the radio
About one year ago
And you wanted to know
All about me and my hobbies
My favorite food and my birthday

Why are you so far away from me?
I need help and you're way across the sea
I could never touch you
I think it would be wrong
I've got your letter
You've got my song

They don't make stationery like this where I'm from
So fragile, so refined
So I sniff and I lick your envelope
And fall to little pieces every time
I wonder what clothes you wear to school
I wonder how you decorate your room
I wonder how you touch yourself
And curse myself for being across the sea

Why are you so far away from me?
I need help and you're way across the sea
I could never touch you
I think it would be wrong
I've got your letter
You've got my song

At 10 I shaved my head and tried to be a monk
I thought the older women would like me if I did
You see, ma, I'm a good little boy
It's all your fault, momma, it's all your fault
Goddamn, this business is really lame
I gotta live on an island to find the juice
So you send me your love from all around the world
As if I could live on words and dreams and a million screams
Oh how I need a hand in mine, to feel

Why are you so far away from me?
Why are you so far away from me?
I could never touch you
I think it would be wrong
I've got your letter
You've got my song
I've got your letter
You've got my song

Normally....

2007-05-29T13:49:00.000-05:00

I Used to be a huge bill maher fan. Its been hard lately, the less censored he gets, the more we disagree. This however, is beautiful:

And, finally, New Rule: From now on, Earth Day really must be a year-round thing. And...and in honor of this Earth Day, starting Monday, supermarket clerks must stop putting the big bottle of detergent with the handle on it, in a plastic bag. I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but you see that handle you just lifted the detergent with? I could use that same handle to carry the detergent to my car.

And while we're at it, stop putting my liquor in a smaller paper sack before you put it in the big paper sack with my other stuff. What, are you afraid my groceries will think less of me if they see I've been drinking? Trust me, the broccoli doesn't care, and the condoms, they already know.

So, here's a quote from Albert Einstein. He said, if the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination. No more plants. No more animals. No more man. Well, guess what? The bees are disappearing in massive numbers all around the world. And if you think I'm being alarmist, and that, "Oh, they'll figure out some way to pollinate the plants." No, they've tried.

For a lot of what we eat, only bees work. And they're not working. They're gone. It's called "colony collapse disorder," when the hive's inhabitants suddenly disappear and all that's left are a few queens and some immature workers. Like when a party winds down at Elton John's house. Queens imagery.

But, I think we are the ones suffering from colony collapse disorder. Because, although nobody really knows for sure what's killing the bees, it's not Al Qaeda, and it's not God doing some of his Old Testament shtick. And it's not Winnie the Pooh. It's us. It could be from pesticides or genetically-modified food or global warming, or the high fructose corn syrup we started to feed them.

Recently, it was discovered that bees won't fly near cell phones. The electromagnetic signals they emit might screw up the bees' navigation system, knocking them out of the sky. So, thanks, big mouth guy in line at Starbucks. You just killed us.

It's nature's way of saying, "Can you hear me now?"

Last week, I asked, if it solved global warming, would you give up the TV remote and go back to carting your fat a$$ over to the television set every time you wanted to change the channel. If it comes down to the cell phone versus the bee, will we choose to literally blather ourselves to death? Will we continue to tell ourselves that we don't have to solve environmental problems, we can just adapt? Build sea walls instead of stopping the ice caps from melting. Don't save the creatures of the earth in the oceans; just learn to eat the slime and the jellyfish that nothing can kill; like Chinese restaurants are already doing.

You know what? Maybe you don't need to talk on your cell phone all the time. Maybe you don't need a bag when you buy a keychain. Americans throw out 100 billion plastic bags a year, and they all take 1,000 years to decompose. Your children's children's children will never know you, but they'll know you once bought batteries at the 99-cents Store because the bag will still be caught in a tree. Except there won't be any trees.

Sunday is Earth Day. Please educate someone about the birds and the bees. Because, without bees, humans become the canary in the coal mine. And we make bad canaries, because we're already such sheep.

Email from my mom...

2007-05-17T13:14:00.000-05:00

"Just wanted to let you know I took my hand to the doctor yesterday. He examined me and said that the tendon WASN'T ruptured - just the sheath (the little membrane) surrounding it. He put me in a splint and I am going to do some physical therapy to strengthen it. (I hurt it on Monday)

Now, here's the exciting news - This doctor is the guy who takes care of the Falcons players - my regular Ortho doctor got me in to see him because this doctor specializes in hand injuries and reconstruction. His name is Dr. Wilkes. Anyway, Dr. Wilkes was fascinated by the state my hands are in. I guess he saw them as a good challenge and he started to ask me a lot of questions about how limited the use of my hands had become. In the end he told me that he can reconstruct my hands and make them more efficient and functional!!!!! There have been amazing advances in finger joint replacement since the last time a doctor worked on my hands and apparently there is a new plastic knuckle joint that works miraculously! He says I am a good condidate because there is still a lot of good muscle around my joints and that he can give me straighter, more natural looking hands that work more like they used to. Now, they won't look like they did 25 years ago, but it should restore my ability to do some of the things I have had to give up due to the limitations."

There was more about how difficult the decision is, etc. but the meat of this post is that my mom has had another miracle, or as she says, "God took this chicken shit and made chicken salad!!"

Thanks for all your prayers!

This is why politics is stupid and everyone should shut up and vote, or not vote but SHUT UP

2007-05-15T08:20:00.000-05:00

A gay man I know posted this bulletin on myspace:

"I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quite, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now lets see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder."

I am not trying to say that all homosexuals should be you know, pro-immigrant or anything, but this is the same kind of passive agressiveness he rebels against daily. We all want for ourselves in this country, even if it means screwing the other guy. I dont have the answer. I cant tell you the way to solve either the insanely complex immigration issue or the morally hypocritical condemning of those in the "other" catagory. I just wish we would all start putting a check mark in that box and see how the system handled THAT!

I dont want the governement telling me what to do in my house either... I just want this all to stop being a screaming match.

gruff

2007-05-01T13:05:00.000-05:00

So I just cant get over what a freakin hot day it is. And to top it off I dont feel well, so walking outside makes my head feel like its about the size of a grape with a watermelon inside. Sorry...

My sister spent the weekend or I guess just Sunday and Monday, but it was interesting. Having a five year old around makes me really appreciate the fact that I dont have kids. I was so tired after having her at work with me all day yesterday that I went to bed at 9:15, which was good because I got up at 6:15 to take her home. She was so well behaved though, it made me thankful for my aunt who got her out of the horrible situation she was in with her parents.

I was really bothered by one thing though: she went with us when we rescued our dog, so she saw how neglected he was, and yet all day she was following him around hugging him and asking "Do you miss your old family P'Nut?" Its like, even though she knows she was rescued, she still misses her mom and dad, so the dog must too. I can tell you the dog does not miss those people, he was rarely fed and got NO attention from them. Just like my sister, he needed people who made him a priority. She had a visit with my Dad on Sunday and he "helped her" with her homework. I have been angry at him before, but this is just not acceptable, I cant even get angry it is so pathetic. He didn't even make her read the directions, much less follow them. Its Kindergarten... he is nearly 50 years old... its just pathetic.

too many blogs

2007-04-26T14:24:00.000-05:00

I cant make interesting facebook notes, mayspace and blogger blogs and be intersting to talk to in person or on the phone. I have a life and I enjoy interacting with people. Making time and conversation through the format is really difficult for me. I have a little bit of bitterness because people expect me to keep up with their blogs etc. when I only really know one person who ever has anything interesting to say (You're welcome R. Brian Fain of Knoxville!)

Please keep understanding that I will post here occasionally, but its just so darn hard to come up with things to say. I am getting all geared up about going back to school and I miss McKay and my peeps, but thats about it.

AHHHH

2007-04-03T12:56:00.000-05:00

I log in to blog and they tell me there will be an outage in four minutes....

HURRY HURRY>>>> BE WITTY!!!

Ok guys, Im just not. But this blog is so much better than the myspace ones. GAH I cant stand stupid Myspace and my addiction to it.

Also, I want a lunch break. Unless I leave the office, it doesn't matter how much food I have spread out in front of me, or even if I have a big freaking bite of food IN MY MOUTH, these people look right past it.

I love my job, but this is ridiculous.

Anyway, my mommy is coming to celebrate her 50th on Thursday. We are going to the hockey game and I am SUPER excited. And Im off on Friday. And next week Im going on vacation! WOOT!

I miss all you chatty folks and some of them in Knoxville....

gah!

2006-06-04T20:32:00.000-05:00

what the heck!?!! Ive had the caziesst dreams this week. I dont know what the deal is. I wish I could say that I felt it was good thing, but I think it means I am heading to a scary place...

Oh well, Hope you all are well. I am looking forward to seeing you all soon and partying and not worrying... To not worry would be a fun and interesting new feeling.

I wish I could do some theatre... But I dont wanna be anymore tired... what freakin retard.

so yeah...

2006-05-30T16:46:00.000-05:00

Im a christian, Im sure most of you know that... but whats with people these days being christian and retarded... ok maybe not these days and maybe its not just christians, but dont make it MORE difficult for me to explain myself by being hateful and malicious based on your loving and gracious "faith"

That probably annoyed someone I love, but I still love them and if they love me they understand it...

Dont have babies with people you barely know and who sincerely are disturbed.

Ive got a secret. Im not gonna post it on the internet.

what the!?!

2006-05-27T20:11:00.000-05:00

I just cant believe that I spent the last three hours at a high school graduation party. Thats more time than I spent at MY OWN party and I am really really freaked out by people. They really do ask the same questions OVER AND OVER again and I just cant figure it out... Was it really so long ago that they graduated that they cant remember answering that crap!?!!!

Anyway, I saw X-men, the perfect ending to my crappy friday... Just go see it and dont ask because I really dont wanna talk about it except to say that it is NO WAY to start off the summer blockbuster season...

I am spending the weekend in atlanta with me ma and leavig david at home to make more money so I can spend spend spend!!

Hope to see everyone at Nama on Thursday to celebrate David's birthday!!! Its been hard to convince him that just because he is turning 27 it doesnt mean he's going to die, I guess he thinks he is some kinda musical/artistic genius...

it really is

2006-05-22T19:56:00.000-05:00

not having cable has been the best thing ever, but I just cant stop watching crap! I dont know if Im just prone to the "zone" that sucks you into a part of consciousness that prevents the realization that deal or no deal rots your brain or what...

I missed this outlet, so I hope you guys will update your links so that if and when I update this blog, it will be worth it.

I dont ever wanna win the lottery... I dont wanna feel completely alone.